Hey Girls,
I'd like your opinion on this so feel free to comment. What do you think is acceptable behaviour for how someone should act around the opposite sex when they are in a relationship themselves? There is a lot of talk about appropriate boundaries within a relationship between a guy and girl but what about outside of that? For example, I think a lot of people can agree that they would not like it if they saw their boyfriend flirting with another girl. But what about friendliness, or playfulness? How far before it's too far?
I've heard about one couple who wanted to maintain purity/protect each other in the relationship so they had a practice whereby they wouldn't be alone with a member of the opposite sex. Is that a little too extreme? Always needing to have a third party there?
Well it says in the Bible in 1Timothy 5:1-2 "Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity." So all our relationship should focus on absolute purity. So, if you're in a relationship and you have a single male friend or even a married male friend, all your interactions should focus on absolute purity. You should do nothing that would cause guilt in anyway.
I guess then it is important to note what constitutes purity. Well, purity is clean, without sin. Thus, our thoughts and actions have to be sinless. Remember how in the Bible it states in Matthew 5:28 "But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart." So we have to be really careful about how we think about others. Does your close friendship with another guy cause stress in your relationship or create thoughts such as, what would it be like to be with him? That's pretty dangerous stuff there. It can create a whole lot of trouble.
Well, I think we all have to decide how to treat others outside of our relationship and the Holy Spirit will guide our hearts to know the right thing. You have to decide where the boundaries are. Is it okay for your guy friend to have a real heart to heart conversation with you or is that the type of thing you should just have with your significant other? Is it okay do go out and do stuff just the two of you, without your significant other? Maybe the rules change depending on who the person is and the history you have with them. Yet no matter what, it is important you know where you stand and have an idea of this stuff in your mind so that when the situation comes up, you will know how to properly react to it.
So really, if you think about everyone as either your brother or sister, father or mother, it makes the situation a little clearer. Maybe this is something you should talk about and decide as a couple. If you're acting in purity, being honourable towards the opposite sex, treating the guys like you would a brother, than that's good. It is just important to be careful and understand the impact that our other friendships can have on our marriage or dating relationship. And as always, if you keep your eyes on God, he will lead you.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Friday, May 28, 2010
When God Says No
Hi There,
Has God ever told you no before? Well, recently I had a job interview and got offered the job at the end of the interview. It sounded like a really great opportunity and so my husband and I spent a few days praying about it but in the end, we just didn't feel like it was right. It was strange because both of us wanted to go but yet there wasn't peace about it in my heart. It didn't feel right to me. So I didn't take the job. It was disappointing. Yet I realize that the important thing about this whole situation is that we listened to the nudging of God. Just because we want something, doesn't make it right- doesn't make it God's will.
I've heard a bunch of times about unanswered prayers- that God doesn't answer all prayers. But sometimes I wonder if he has answered and it is 'no' or 'not yet' or 'wait'. All those things can be very hard to hear for us and sometimes we may not listen. After all, how often has it happened where something has come along your path that seemed just right for you and you went ahead and pursed it without consulting God about it? It's not easy to hear a no answer to something we want. It's disappointing and somewhat frustrating. But think about it, when God tells us 'no' to something (even something like dating that boy you have a crush on)- that is a perfect indication that he has a plan. He will tell us yes to something else.
After all, if we choose to follow God than we have to follow him wherever he leads and wherever he doesn't lead. I think sometimes there is such a huge focus on the going, on the yes answers and how to walk in obedience to that. Have you ever heard a sermon preached where the pastor talked about listening to God's no answers? I guess for me, it seems that I hear so often about the doing, the going- people talking about how to step out in faith and go where God calls. Well, what about stepping out in faith and listening when God tells us not to go somewhere? Listening to a no answer takes just as much faith as listening to a yes answer. Hearing a no means you may be left at square one again, you may still feel stuck in the same place, you may be confused, frustrated and wondering what in the world is going on- it takes faith to trust God that he has a plan in place.
So I encourage you today to consult with God about all your choices you have to make and then to have the courage and faith to accept his no (and the yes ones too, of course) answers, even when it is something you really want. God knows best. And we're following him and he's got the road map. So let's trust God for the plans for our lives and for each step we need or don't need to take.
Has God ever told you no before? Well, recently I had a job interview and got offered the job at the end of the interview. It sounded like a really great opportunity and so my husband and I spent a few days praying about it but in the end, we just didn't feel like it was right. It was strange because both of us wanted to go but yet there wasn't peace about it in my heart. It didn't feel right to me. So I didn't take the job. It was disappointing. Yet I realize that the important thing about this whole situation is that we listened to the nudging of God. Just because we want something, doesn't make it right- doesn't make it God's will.
I've heard a bunch of times about unanswered prayers- that God doesn't answer all prayers. But sometimes I wonder if he has answered and it is 'no' or 'not yet' or 'wait'. All those things can be very hard to hear for us and sometimes we may not listen. After all, how often has it happened where something has come along your path that seemed just right for you and you went ahead and pursed it without consulting God about it? It's not easy to hear a no answer to something we want. It's disappointing and somewhat frustrating. But think about it, when God tells us 'no' to something (even something like dating that boy you have a crush on)- that is a perfect indication that he has a plan. He will tell us yes to something else.
After all, if we choose to follow God than we have to follow him wherever he leads and wherever he doesn't lead. I think sometimes there is such a huge focus on the going, on the yes answers and how to walk in obedience to that. Have you ever heard a sermon preached where the pastor talked about listening to God's no answers? I guess for me, it seems that I hear so often about the doing, the going- people talking about how to step out in faith and go where God calls. Well, what about stepping out in faith and listening when God tells us not to go somewhere? Listening to a no answer takes just as much faith as listening to a yes answer. Hearing a no means you may be left at square one again, you may still feel stuck in the same place, you may be confused, frustrated and wondering what in the world is going on- it takes faith to trust God that he has a plan in place.
So I encourage you today to consult with God about all your choices you have to make and then to have the courage and faith to accept his no (and the yes ones too, of course) answers, even when it is something you really want. God knows best. And we're following him and he's got the road map. So let's trust God for the plans for our lives and for each step we need or don't need to take.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
This is NOT a test
Hey All,
Ok, I was watching TV the other day and someone gave their opinion of what Christianity entailed, which was a test. I've often heard or read about the idea that God is testing someone, this is a test to see what they will do. Well I don't believe at all that the idea of Christianity is that there is a test where our life is based upon either good or bad things we do and that in the end we go to either Heaven or Hell based on how we were in life. In my opinion, that's honestly ridiculous. I've read the Bible cover to cover a few times and no where can I recall where it said that life is a test. It's not pass or fail. Not at all, rather it's believe or not. It's faith, not works.
Galatians 2:16 "Yet we know that a person is made right with God by faith in Jesus Christ, not by obeying the law. And we have believed in Christ Jesus, so that we might be made right with God because of our faith in Christ, not because we have obeyed the law. For no one will ever be made right with God by obeying the law."
Romans 6:11 "And since it is through God’s kindness, then it is not by their good works. For in that case, God’s grace would not be what it really is—free and undeserved"
So we are saved by faith alone. In the end, we go to Heaven to be with Jesus not because we did a whole bunch of good stuff in our lives but because we recognized Jesus as the son of God, that he came and died, and rose again, that he defeated death and saved us from our sins. We recognized and put our faith, our trust, our lives, in God's hands.
Life is not test. Maybe you've felt before that God was testing you in a situation, that you felt as if you were under scrutiny for what you were doing. Well, God is a loving father. What loving parent (who loves perfectly, better than our earthly parents could ever be) would set up life as a series of tests to challenge their child and see if they're good enough or not? No parent would because any loving parent unconditionally accepts and treasures their child, believing in their worth and value that cannot be measured or tested.
Sometimes we do encounter situations where we feel as if there is a choice or action to make. We may have to choose right from wrong. Well, not ever do we have to go it alone or rely on ourselves. In situations like that, just ask God to help you. For example, maybe you've been praying for patience and then all these situations seem to come along that act to 'test' your patience. Is God bringing you 'tests' because you asked for more patience? I don't think so. I think your eyes are on trying to be more patient so you recognize those situations more easily than you would if your focus was on something else, like resisting your temper. Situations can arise that call for patience, but God will help you to be patient- if it was a test, you'd be totally on your own. These situations may seem to come more frequently because God is helping you to build patience- look at it as a positive rather than a negative. It isn't- oh will she be patient or not? It is more like, it is time to try to be patient and God will help her to do that.
Christianity is all about God, following Christ, his love for us. It's believing that God sent his son Jesus in the world to die for us, and then who rose again to give us life forever. It's about creation, the fall and the resurrection. It's about life. It's about grace. We are saved by the grace of God. We go through life, the ups and downs, the mistakes and sorrows, the joys and triumphs but through it all, God redeemed us even though we don't deserve it and can never ever do anything to deserve being saved and forgiven ("We are all infected and impure with sin.When we display our righteous deeds, they are nothing but filthy rags"- Isaiah 64:6). We can just rest in the assurance that we are forgiven, that God gave us grace- an undeserved gift- because he loves us.
John 3:16 "For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life."
Ok, I was watching TV the other day and someone gave their opinion of what Christianity entailed, which was a test. I've often heard or read about the idea that God is testing someone, this is a test to see what they will do. Well I don't believe at all that the idea of Christianity is that there is a test where our life is based upon either good or bad things we do and that in the end we go to either Heaven or Hell based on how we were in life. In my opinion, that's honestly ridiculous. I've read the Bible cover to cover a few times and no where can I recall where it said that life is a test. It's not pass or fail. Not at all, rather it's believe or not. It's faith, not works.
Galatians 2:16 "Yet we know that a person is made right with God by faith in Jesus Christ, not by obeying the law. And we have believed in Christ Jesus, so that we might be made right with God because of our faith in Christ, not because we have obeyed the law. For no one will ever be made right with God by obeying the law."
Romans 6:11 "And since it is through God’s kindness, then it is not by their good works. For in that case, God’s grace would not be what it really is—free and undeserved"
So we are saved by faith alone. In the end, we go to Heaven to be with Jesus not because we did a whole bunch of good stuff in our lives but because we recognized Jesus as the son of God, that he came and died, and rose again, that he defeated death and saved us from our sins. We recognized and put our faith, our trust, our lives, in God's hands.
Life is not test. Maybe you've felt before that God was testing you in a situation, that you felt as if you were under scrutiny for what you were doing. Well, God is a loving father. What loving parent (who loves perfectly, better than our earthly parents could ever be) would set up life as a series of tests to challenge their child and see if they're good enough or not? No parent would because any loving parent unconditionally accepts and treasures their child, believing in their worth and value that cannot be measured or tested.
Sometimes we do encounter situations where we feel as if there is a choice or action to make. We may have to choose right from wrong. Well, not ever do we have to go it alone or rely on ourselves. In situations like that, just ask God to help you. For example, maybe you've been praying for patience and then all these situations seem to come along that act to 'test' your patience. Is God bringing you 'tests' because you asked for more patience? I don't think so. I think your eyes are on trying to be more patient so you recognize those situations more easily than you would if your focus was on something else, like resisting your temper. Situations can arise that call for patience, but God will help you to be patient- if it was a test, you'd be totally on your own. These situations may seem to come more frequently because God is helping you to build patience- look at it as a positive rather than a negative. It isn't- oh will she be patient or not? It is more like, it is time to try to be patient and God will help her to do that.
Christianity is all about God, following Christ, his love for us. It's believing that God sent his son Jesus in the world to die for us, and then who rose again to give us life forever. It's about creation, the fall and the resurrection. It's about life. It's about grace. We are saved by the grace of God. We go through life, the ups and downs, the mistakes and sorrows, the joys and triumphs but through it all, God redeemed us even though we don't deserve it and can never ever do anything to deserve being saved and forgiven ("We are all infected and impure with sin.When we display our righteous deeds, they are nothing but filthy rags"- Isaiah 64:6). We can just rest in the assurance that we are forgiven, that God gave us grace- an undeserved gift- because he loves us.
John 3:16 "For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life."
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Friends Forever
Hi Girls,
Aren't our friends great? It is just so much fun to be friends with someone, to have someone you can count on. So, think of this post today as an ode to friends. I think friendship is very important because it's a bond that bring people together, gets built over time or even very quickly- and it can last, even if you don't see someone for awhile. Friendships, like any relationship, also take a lot of work. Sometimes friends can grow apart, can disappoint, can fade but for that particular time in our life, they were there. Friends can come and go as life changes. Yet I think, as an individual, it's important that we always practice being a good friend. Our 'being a friend' ability can grow and develop as we meet and interact with more people, and learn how better to do that.
Think about your most important friendships in life, maybe with your family members or a significant other. After all, if you're married or in a serious relationship, your closest friend should be your husband/fiancé/boyfriend. They're the one that you're building your future with. It's important that you learn how to best be a friend to him and for him to learn how to be a friend to you. Best friends are a wonderful foundation for a life long love relationship. It provides the basic building blocks, the connections that keep you talking and having fun together. You have to be friends first, friends before lovers.
There are soo many friendship verses in the Bible, such as Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 or John 15:12-15. There are verses about how to be a good friend such as "Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses." Proverbs 27:5-6 New American Standard. Or, "If you find honey, eat just enough— too much of it, and you will vomit. Seldom set foot in your neighbor's house— too much of you, and he will hate you." Proverbs 25:16-17 New International Version.
Yet, we can't forget our most important friend of all. "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother," (Proverbs 18:24 New International Version); Jesus, he is that friend. As people comes and go in our lives, Jesus will always be there- always be our friend. That never changes.
So enjoy your long weekend, spend time being a friend as well as with your friends, and your friends who are your family.
Aren't our friends great? It is just so much fun to be friends with someone, to have someone you can count on. So, think of this post today as an ode to friends. I think friendship is very important because it's a bond that bring people together, gets built over time or even very quickly- and it can last, even if you don't see someone for awhile. Friendships, like any relationship, also take a lot of work. Sometimes friends can grow apart, can disappoint, can fade but for that particular time in our life, they were there. Friends can come and go as life changes. Yet I think, as an individual, it's important that we always practice being a good friend. Our 'being a friend' ability can grow and develop as we meet and interact with more people, and learn how better to do that.
Think about your most important friendships in life, maybe with your family members or a significant other. After all, if you're married or in a serious relationship, your closest friend should be your husband/fiancé/boyfriend. They're the one that you're building your future with. It's important that you learn how to best be a friend to him and for him to learn how to be a friend to you. Best friends are a wonderful foundation for a life long love relationship. It provides the basic building blocks, the connections that keep you talking and having fun together. You have to be friends first, friends before lovers.
There are soo many friendship verses in the Bible, such as Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 or John 15:12-15. There are verses about how to be a good friend such as "Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses." Proverbs 27:5-6 New American Standard. Or, "If you find honey, eat just enough— too much of it, and you will vomit. Seldom set foot in your neighbor's house— too much of you, and he will hate you." Proverbs 25:16-17 New International Version.
Yet, we can't forget our most important friend of all. "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother," (Proverbs 18:24 New International Version); Jesus, he is that friend. As people comes and go in our lives, Jesus will always be there- always be our friend. That never changes.
So enjoy your long weekend, spend time being a friend as well as with your friends, and your friends who are your family.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Generosity
Hey Girls,
Do you consider yourself a generous person? Do you give of your time or your money to others in need? Well, growing up in a church environment, I was always taught to tithe but then later on in life, as I learned more about following the leadings of God's Spirit, I realized that it is more important to live in generosity to others.
Well, let's see what the Bible has to say about tithing. In Deuteronomy 14: 22 it says "You must set aside a tithe of your crops—one-tenth of all the crops you harvest each year." Then in Deuteronomy 26:12 it states, "Every third year you must offer a special tithe of your crops. In this year of the special tithe you must give your tithes to the Levites, foreigners, orphans, and widows, so that they will have enough to eat in your towns." In Biblical times, the tithes went to the Levites on a regular basis who took care of the Temple and they gave a tenth of that in a sacred offering to God (Numbers 18:26).
Ok, so did this change when Jesus came? Well Jesus often criticized the religious leaders of the day for their concern and obsession with keeping every detail of the law; "What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are careful to tithe even the tiniest income from your herb gardens, but you ignore the more important aspects of the law—justice, mercy, and faith. You should tithe, yes, but do not neglect the more important things," Matthew 23:23. It seemed as if Jesus was not after their 10% but instead looking at their heart, the way they gave and how they treated others. Remember the story when Jesus and his disciples were at the temple and they were watching people give their tithes? They saw wealthy individuals giving out of all their wealth, something they wouldn't miss but then they saw this poor widow who gave everything she had (Mark 12:41-44); "Jesus called his disciples to him and said, “I tell you the truth, this poor widow has given more than all the others who are making contributions. For they gave a tiny part of their surplus, but she, poor as she is, has given everything she had to live on.”
Ok, so we can see here that generosity in giving is very important. Yet, are we required to give a regular 10%? When Jesus came, he changed everything. We're not bound by the rules of law and regulations but have freedom in following Jesus, knowing his mercy and grace, being led by the Holy Spirit. 2 Corinthians 9:6-10 tells it clearly, "Remember this—a farmer who plants only a few seeds will get a small crop. But the one who plants generously will get a generous crop.You must each decide in your heart how much to give. And don’t give reluctantly or in response to pressure. “For God loves a person who gives cheerfully.” And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others. As the Scriptures say, “They share freely and give generously to the poor. Their good deeds will be remembered forever.” For God is the one who provides seed for the farmer and then bread to eat. In the same way, he will provide and increase your resources and then produce a great harvest of generosity in you."
We are called to be generous with our giving and the Holy Spirit will direct us inside on how much to give. We just have to be faithful to give. When we give, than we will receive blessing. You won't be left with nothing, in fact, all your needs will be met and you'll have enough to share with others. We are led by the Spirit, not under the law, like the Bible says in Galatians 5:18.
So I think it is really important that we do what God tell us, that we give generously to those in need. If you don't know who to give to, ask God and he can tell you. Sometimes giving at church is important but it doesn't always have to be that way. You could support organizations that help others, or maybe you know a family member who is in need and God lays it on your heart to pay their next car payment for them- that's giving too. Yet I'll admit, giving is hard. Maybe you have student loans, or you're just starting out in life, maybe looking for work and finances are tight. That doesn't mean you shouldn't give. God will bless you and provide if you are faithful to give.
I encourage you, don't forget to be generous to those in need. Listen to the Holy Spirit and you'll know exactly what God is calling you to do. Then step out in faith and do it.
Do you consider yourself a generous person? Do you give of your time or your money to others in need? Well, growing up in a church environment, I was always taught to tithe but then later on in life, as I learned more about following the leadings of God's Spirit, I realized that it is more important to live in generosity to others.
Well, let's see what the Bible has to say about tithing. In Deuteronomy 14: 22 it says "You must set aside a tithe of your crops—one-tenth of all the crops you harvest each year." Then in Deuteronomy 26:12 it states, "Every third year you must offer a special tithe of your crops. In this year of the special tithe you must give your tithes to the Levites, foreigners, orphans, and widows, so that they will have enough to eat in your towns." In Biblical times, the tithes went to the Levites on a regular basis who took care of the Temple and they gave a tenth of that in a sacred offering to God (Numbers 18:26).
Ok, so did this change when Jesus came? Well Jesus often criticized the religious leaders of the day for their concern and obsession with keeping every detail of the law; "What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are careful to tithe even the tiniest income from your herb gardens, but you ignore the more important aspects of the law—justice, mercy, and faith. You should tithe, yes, but do not neglect the more important things," Matthew 23:23. It seemed as if Jesus was not after their 10% but instead looking at their heart, the way they gave and how they treated others. Remember the story when Jesus and his disciples were at the temple and they were watching people give their tithes? They saw wealthy individuals giving out of all their wealth, something they wouldn't miss but then they saw this poor widow who gave everything she had (Mark 12:41-44); "Jesus called his disciples to him and said, “I tell you the truth, this poor widow has given more than all the others who are making contributions. For they gave a tiny part of their surplus, but she, poor as she is, has given everything she had to live on.”
Ok, so we can see here that generosity in giving is very important. Yet, are we required to give a regular 10%? When Jesus came, he changed everything. We're not bound by the rules of law and regulations but have freedom in following Jesus, knowing his mercy and grace, being led by the Holy Spirit. 2 Corinthians 9:6-10 tells it clearly, "Remember this—a farmer who plants only a few seeds will get a small crop. But the one who plants generously will get a generous crop.You must each decide in your heart how much to give. And don’t give reluctantly or in response to pressure. “For God loves a person who gives cheerfully.” And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others. As the Scriptures say, “They share freely and give generously to the poor. Their good deeds will be remembered forever.” For God is the one who provides seed for the farmer and then bread to eat. In the same way, he will provide and increase your resources and then produce a great harvest of generosity in you."
We are called to be generous with our giving and the Holy Spirit will direct us inside on how much to give. We just have to be faithful to give. When we give, than we will receive blessing. You won't be left with nothing, in fact, all your needs will be met and you'll have enough to share with others. We are led by the Spirit, not under the law, like the Bible says in Galatians 5:18.
So I think it is really important that we do what God tell us, that we give generously to those in need. If you don't know who to give to, ask God and he can tell you. Sometimes giving at church is important but it doesn't always have to be that way. You could support organizations that help others, or maybe you know a family member who is in need and God lays it on your heart to pay their next car payment for them- that's giving too. Yet I'll admit, giving is hard. Maybe you have student loans, or you're just starting out in life, maybe looking for work and finances are tight. That doesn't mean you shouldn't give. God will bless you and provide if you are faithful to give.
I encourage you, don't forget to be generous to those in need. Listen to the Holy Spirit and you'll know exactly what God is calling you to do. Then step out in faith and do it.
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