Hi Girls,
Ever had a friend who grew up Christian, seemed focused on God and into following his word? Then as they grow up, they drift away from God and eventually just live a lifetsyle society approves of? Or maybe you thought everything was good with your friend and God and one day, they make a 'unchristian' decision and you suddenly realize that they are further from God than you original believed?
I've had friends like this and it is such a sad situation when you see a Christian girl (or guy) fall away from God and begin to make choices that you know don't please God. What do you do? Some people take offense to being told that they are not acting according to God's design for our lives and this causes breaks in the friendship. Others actually benefit from correction and your pointing out their mistake plants a seed that one day helps them to come around. I have to confess, I find this a terribly difficult situation and I have a hard time knowing what to do.
Just a side note here, we are talking about Christians only because non Christians did not make a promise to follow God. The Bible says in Matthew 18: 15-17 that “If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector." This is pretty intense but the keywords here are 'sins against you'. If the offense is not personal, than this act of confrontation and shunning because of unrepentance for sin, should not occur (although you always have to forgive them even if they don't repent). Anyway, back on topic. So when my friend made bad life choices- ex. moving in with boyfriend- what do I do?
Matthew 7:1-3 says "Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others.The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged. And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own?" Okay, so this establishes that we should not sit in judgement about our friends. If my friend is lying, drinking (as in getting drunk), carrying on in other inappropriate ways- I shouldn't sit back and tell them what a horrible Christian and what a bad person they are. Hello! I make mistakes too! God views all sin equally so if I harshly judge my friends' mistakes, than God will harshly judge mine.
So what does this mean? Do I need to just sit back and watch my friends sin? I honestly don't believe that is right. I believe when we see our Christian friends making mistakes, it's important that they know we don't agree with them. For example, I have friends who are sleeping with their boyfriends and I think it's important that they know I don't agree with that lifestyle according to Biblical references but at the same time, it is not my place to criticize them for it. All I can do is point out what the Bible says. Overall, I think the best option is to pray for them because God will inspire repentance in their lives. I can't do that. I do not need to support them in their sin, just like they shouldn't give validation to the things I do wrong. It's the sin in my friends life that's wrong, not them personally. God can change people and I just have to pray that my friend will be willing, while at the same time, trying to live as pleasing to God as I can. And, we all have to try to be as humble and repentant as we can too.
I just hope all the girls out there will stay strong against the temptations to sin in the first place and that we will encourage each other not too. For example, ever had a Christian friend who moved in with their boyfriend and promised that they would still wait for marriage to have sex? Bet that didn't last too long- putting yourself in temptations way is not good at all. And we really need to help each other to stand strong against many temptations to sin (and not just with boys) or even temptations to practise harmful behaviours (like being overly critical of ourselves or even too bossy). This is all pretty difficult stuff to practise and deal with but it's important we're there for each other just like God is always there for us!
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
Tidbits of Stuff
Hi all,
Back from Florida, from another long long drive and glad to see that there was snow on the ground when I got home. Oh, another note, I tried to put this quiz thing on my blog to see what kinda topics I should look into posting more often so if you could, check off your response on the quiz. Basically I usually try to post what I feel God leading me to and I hope that it encourages those who read it.
Anyway, I didn't really give this post today a topic because, well, I didn't have just one topic. I was thinking about my relationship with my husband and realized that we did things pretty different from-well, everyone I know. We met at the end of June two years ago and then started dating 2 weeks later in July, four months from then in Nov. we were engaged and then married 6 weeks later in early Jan. Pretty fast eh? Well, when you know, you know. When God confirms the relationship, I think it's best that we let him determine the pace of it. Both of us did not really enjoy dating. I don't understand how people can handle dating for long periods of time- four months was enough for us! We just wanted to be married and dating seemed like this formality, this step that we had to get through.
This is why I don't really believe in dating for long periods of time or being engaged for a long time either. It's understandable when two people are separated- long distance dating (which is what we were, I was in Ontario and he was in BC) . God does not want us to live in temptation with each other; he designed men and women to marry. So when God confirms a relationship, I think that we should just sit back and let him control the timing. I think many people date for too long, or get engaged for too long (yes, weddings take time to plan, but honestly, what's more important, the man or the ceremony?). Lots of people worry about having enough money to get married- you don't need money! God provides. Trust me, we married with basically nothing, I had some savings but we had no car, both of us were students, no jobs... you get the picture. Money should never stop you from doing what God wants you to do. He wants you to marry. He'll iron out the details. People would save themselves a lot of heartache if they didn't let money get in the way of their relationship.
There is another misconception out there about relationships. Some people seem to be under the impression that once you get married, all the problems you had while dating go away. Anyone who is married should tell you that isn't true. The problems you have when you're dating, you'll still have when your married. They'll just be different since you're situations changed. If there is a communication problem- you'll want to solve that asap because it will only get worse in marriage, or any other problem, which is why many people advocate marriage counselling. I believe some of us definately benefit from that. Although I can't comment on it because we were offered only one afternoon of it (I didn't want it honestly). We had a rather unusual circumstance in that because while dating long distance, we would talk almost everday, on the phone from 8 until 12 at night- that changed sometimes,- and we would talk on msn during the day. My husband calculated that our talking would amount to about 10 days of non stop conversation approximately! Crazy eh? We dealt with every single issue in those conversation (basically covered all the stuff in the marriage books we read). With that much yaking, we thought we knew each other pretty darn well. And we did but nothing prepared us for actually experiencing being married.
I often thought to myself that marriage changed everything and nothing at the same time. It's a odd sentiment and I can't really describe it. Somethings stayed the same but other things were completely different. We found out so much about each other and more as time went on. Sometimes it seems as if young couples, like engaged or newly married, act as if they have everything figured out. Do they have a surprise in store for them! Nothing can really prepare you for the challenges that marriage brings or the changes. It's something that you just have to experience. And these things don't happen all at once, as the years or months go by of being married, new challenges arise. Dating can be difficult, but marriage is probably harder. When you're bonded to someone for the rest of your life, everything that effects them, effects you and it's true what the Bible says in Mark 10:7-9 "This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife and the two are united into one. Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.” Being 'one' is more than just sexual and it's something that takes a long time to learn. It effects every decision, all choices, and even the way you treat the other person.
Falling in love and marrying someone is a great adventure. Yet in order for it to bring us joy and happiness, we have to let God be at the center of it, leading us. And we have to learn from God the skills and tools we need, such as forgiveness, selflessness, and honesty. It's terribly sad that people let their marriages end in divorce, giving up, taking control away from God. So for any of you girls out there experiencing this stuff, or thinking about your future, hopefully our example will encourage you in some way and that you will know God is with you every step of the way.
Back from Florida, from another long long drive and glad to see that there was snow on the ground when I got home. Oh, another note, I tried to put this quiz thing on my blog to see what kinda topics I should look into posting more often so if you could, check off your response on the quiz. Basically I usually try to post what I feel God leading me to and I hope that it encourages those who read it.
Anyway, I didn't really give this post today a topic because, well, I didn't have just one topic. I was thinking about my relationship with my husband and realized that we did things pretty different from-well, everyone I know. We met at the end of June two years ago and then started dating 2 weeks later in July, four months from then in Nov. we were engaged and then married 6 weeks later in early Jan. Pretty fast eh? Well, when you know, you know. When God confirms the relationship, I think it's best that we let him determine the pace of it. Both of us did not really enjoy dating. I don't understand how people can handle dating for long periods of time- four months was enough for us! We just wanted to be married and dating seemed like this formality, this step that we had to get through.
This is why I don't really believe in dating for long periods of time or being engaged for a long time either. It's understandable when two people are separated- long distance dating (which is what we were, I was in Ontario and he was in BC) . God does not want us to live in temptation with each other; he designed men and women to marry. So when God confirms a relationship, I think that we should just sit back and let him control the timing. I think many people date for too long, or get engaged for too long (yes, weddings take time to plan, but honestly, what's more important, the man or the ceremony?). Lots of people worry about having enough money to get married- you don't need money! God provides. Trust me, we married with basically nothing, I had some savings but we had no car, both of us were students, no jobs... you get the picture. Money should never stop you from doing what God wants you to do. He wants you to marry. He'll iron out the details. People would save themselves a lot of heartache if they didn't let money get in the way of their relationship.
There is another misconception out there about relationships. Some people seem to be under the impression that once you get married, all the problems you had while dating go away. Anyone who is married should tell you that isn't true. The problems you have when you're dating, you'll still have when your married. They'll just be different since you're situations changed. If there is a communication problem- you'll want to solve that asap because it will only get worse in marriage, or any other problem, which is why many people advocate marriage counselling. I believe some of us definately benefit from that. Although I can't comment on it because we were offered only one afternoon of it (I didn't want it honestly). We had a rather unusual circumstance in that because while dating long distance, we would talk almost everday, on the phone from 8 until 12 at night- that changed sometimes,- and we would talk on msn during the day. My husband calculated that our talking would amount to about 10 days of non stop conversation approximately! Crazy eh? We dealt with every single issue in those conversation (basically covered all the stuff in the marriage books we read). With that much yaking, we thought we knew each other pretty darn well. And we did but nothing prepared us for actually experiencing being married.
I often thought to myself that marriage changed everything and nothing at the same time. It's a odd sentiment and I can't really describe it. Somethings stayed the same but other things were completely different. We found out so much about each other and more as time went on. Sometimes it seems as if young couples, like engaged or newly married, act as if they have everything figured out. Do they have a surprise in store for them! Nothing can really prepare you for the challenges that marriage brings or the changes. It's something that you just have to experience. And these things don't happen all at once, as the years or months go by of being married, new challenges arise. Dating can be difficult, but marriage is probably harder. When you're bonded to someone for the rest of your life, everything that effects them, effects you and it's true what the Bible says in Mark 10:7-9 "This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife and the two are united into one. Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.” Being 'one' is more than just sexual and it's something that takes a long time to learn. It effects every decision, all choices, and even the way you treat the other person.
Falling in love and marrying someone is a great adventure. Yet in order for it to bring us joy and happiness, we have to let God be at the center of it, leading us. And we have to learn from God the skills and tools we need, such as forgiveness, selflessness, and honesty. It's terribly sad that people let their marriages end in divorce, giving up, taking control away from God. So for any of you girls out there experiencing this stuff, or thinking about your future, hopefully our example will encourage you in some way and that you will know God is with you every step of the way.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Trouble in Paradise
Hey all,
Don't it just suck when you go on vacation and then get sick? It does. And that's what happened to me. Here we are, in sunny, although somewhat unusually cool Florida and I come down with a mild flu- but flu nevertheless. I got sick the first day here, and now, 3 days later, I still am, although I've been able to go out and do things during the day, which is definately a blessing! I'm just praying that the sore throat will be gone so I can fully enjoy the remainder of the time here. I hope I don't pass it on to anyone else. Anyway, what did I learn from this experience? Well, not sure really. Probably that I have too much sugar in my diet and not enough vitamins, but ah, it is so hard to resist that chocolate, those cookies..
Interesting thing though, during our drive down I was praying and felt God say something to me. Now, let me tell you that I am one who never stays up late (unless on special occasions or if I'm unusually wakeful, which doesn't happen often). I love sleeping (normally get 9 hours a night!) oh ya! Usually when 10:00 rolls around, I usual start to fall asleep- no kidding, that's when I hit my tired wall. So ya, not a night hawk, not even when I was a teenager. So, to get to the point, while we were driving our 25 hour, non stop, straight to Florida, I was praying about me surviving the night. I had to stay awake for the couple hours whenever it was my husband's turn to drive. But the interesting thing was that I heard God tell me that He would sustain me. It was really cool. I wasn't sure at first if I was hearing right so I figured I'd just have to wait and see. And you know what? I could barely- I don't even know if I did- sleep at all that night. And I tried hard! But I wasn't feeling that tired either and when morning came, I was able to sleep on and off thoroughout the day but I never felt overcome with fatigue. I was in a good mood and had pretty good energy the entire day! So it was cool, God did sustain me for sure!
So girls, I hope that you are able to recognize when God lifts you up during the day. I don't really know why I got sick (I try to keep a pretty healthy lifestyle) and no one else did but God is sustaining me now too. And I know that he is there for all of you girls as well!!
Don't it just suck when you go on vacation and then get sick? It does. And that's what happened to me. Here we are, in sunny, although somewhat unusually cool Florida and I come down with a mild flu- but flu nevertheless. I got sick the first day here, and now, 3 days later, I still am, although I've been able to go out and do things during the day, which is definately a blessing! I'm just praying that the sore throat will be gone so I can fully enjoy the remainder of the time here. I hope I don't pass it on to anyone else. Anyway, what did I learn from this experience? Well, not sure really. Probably that I have too much sugar in my diet and not enough vitamins, but ah, it is so hard to resist that chocolate, those cookies..
Interesting thing though, during our drive down I was praying and felt God say something to me. Now, let me tell you that I am one who never stays up late (unless on special occasions or if I'm unusually wakeful, which doesn't happen often). I love sleeping (normally get 9 hours a night!) oh ya! Usually when 10:00 rolls around, I usual start to fall asleep- no kidding, that's when I hit my tired wall. So ya, not a night hawk, not even when I was a teenager. So, to get to the point, while we were driving our 25 hour, non stop, straight to Florida, I was praying about me surviving the night. I had to stay awake for the couple hours whenever it was my husband's turn to drive. But the interesting thing was that I heard God tell me that He would sustain me. It was really cool. I wasn't sure at first if I was hearing right so I figured I'd just have to wait and see. And you know what? I could barely- I don't even know if I did- sleep at all that night. And I tried hard! But I wasn't feeling that tired either and when morning came, I was able to sleep on and off thoroughout the day but I never felt overcome with fatigue. I was in a good mood and had pretty good energy the entire day! So it was cool, God did sustain me for sure!
So girls, I hope that you are able to recognize when God lifts you up during the day. I don't really know why I got sick (I try to keep a pretty healthy lifestyle) and no one else did but God is sustaining me now too. And I know that he is there for all of you girls as well!!
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Happy Valentine's Day in Advance
Hey Girls,
I was curious about what the history of Valentine's Day was so I looked it up. Most stories seem to say that there were three men who held that name and all were martyred on Feb. 14 but they repeat the story of one man who married people in secret during the Roman empire when Claudius 2 banned marriage because he thought the emotional attachment made soliders weak. So Valentine married people in secret and went to jail because of it, eventually getting executed. However, before he died, accounts say that he fell in love with the jailer's daughter, perhaps healing her of blindness. Another account said that Valentine was a man who helped Christians escape Roman prisons. And I read that the celebration began as a Christian response to a pagan Roman celebration occuring at the same time...well, whatever the origins of the day, it is obvious that some faithful men were acting selflessly by giving their lives for others. That is definately one of the strongest demonstrations of love, taught to us by Jesus himself.
Valentine's day has turned into a day for couples and left many single people dreading this day. Well, that's unfortunate because Feb. 14th is a day to celebrate love, and there are so many different ways to have love and show love.
So, I decided to give you some ideas to help you make Valentine's Day special.
*Single Girls*
My challenge to you on Valentine's Day is to ask God to point out to you how he is demonstrating his love to you that day. At the end of the day, take a moment of silence, and listen, try to let God remind you of the ways he showed love to you that day. And why not express your love for God in some way? It doesn't have to necessarily be by reading the Bible extra long or spending hours in prayer- sure God would like that but it has to come from your heart. So if expressing your love to God means baking cupcakes than do it, bake for God- and enjoy! Or take a walk outside with Jesus and just talk to him as you go. Just express your love for God in whatever way that holds special meaning for you.
Why not phone up your mom or go visit family? Spend a day with those you love, just giving your time. If your friends are free, go have a girl's afternoon out or something, and have some quality girl time!
*Dating/Engaged Couples*
With your significant other beside you, write down a list of what you see in your future together and compare them. Make it at least 20 items long- be imaginative. Trust me, it's fun. You could also write down a love list, write 20 things that you absolutely love about each other. And then read them to each other, that will certainly spark lots of lovey feelings and plus, it's always wonderful to hear good things about yourself. Spend the entire day together if you can, go for a walk, go skating, out to dinner or better yet, make dinner together as a couple, watch a romantic comedy. Have fun. Surprise each other with some special little gift that would mean something- and it doesn't have to be bought, you could make something (like his favourite cookies). And then end the fantastic evening by letting your boyfriend walk you to your front door and kiss you goodnight. After a day like that, you'll be sure to have a pleasant thoughts as you fall asleep.
*Married Couples*
You could do all the same things as the dating couples really, love lists never get boring! But because marriage comes with it's own set of stresses and busyness, you may have to put extra effort forth to get some alone time together. But definately get that alone time, even if it's only once the kids are asleep and the house is a mess- whatever, leave it. Light some candles, give massages, just enjoy each other's company and don't rush anything. Spend time connecting, getting to know what the other has been thinking about, dreaming about. Eat something sweet, laugh and tickle each other. Take a bath together with lots of bubbles. Give a gift- such as you could wear something extra sexy or give him a foot rub for a change, whatever has meaning for you. Is love making in the plan? Well, that's up to the both of you. Sometimes a romantic evening is complete without it because the two of you have a greater need to connect on a more emotional level and at other times...well, turn out the lights and just enjoy each other, taking your time, taking all night if that's what you like. Have fun!!
I hope that you all can figure out wonderful things to do this Sunday. It's a shame that Valentine's day becomes degraded sometimes to just be about easy sex or getting the key to your boyfriends apartment. Don't let yourself be effected by that but keep your eyes on "... what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise," (Philippians 4:8, NIV). And act likewise.
Whatever you chose to do on Valentine's day, I urge you to keep it pure and remember God is sending lots of love out to you too!
I was curious about what the history of Valentine's Day was so I looked it up. Most stories seem to say that there were three men who held that name and all were martyred on Feb. 14 but they repeat the story of one man who married people in secret during the Roman empire when Claudius 2 banned marriage because he thought the emotional attachment made soliders weak. So Valentine married people in secret and went to jail because of it, eventually getting executed. However, before he died, accounts say that he fell in love with the jailer's daughter, perhaps healing her of blindness. Another account said that Valentine was a man who helped Christians escape Roman prisons. And I read that the celebration began as a Christian response to a pagan Roman celebration occuring at the same time...well, whatever the origins of the day, it is obvious that some faithful men were acting selflessly by giving their lives for others. That is definately one of the strongest demonstrations of love, taught to us by Jesus himself.
Valentine's day has turned into a day for couples and left many single people dreading this day. Well, that's unfortunate because Feb. 14th is a day to celebrate love, and there are so many different ways to have love and show love.
So, I decided to give you some ideas to help you make Valentine's Day special.
*Single Girls*
My challenge to you on Valentine's Day is to ask God to point out to you how he is demonstrating his love to you that day. At the end of the day, take a moment of silence, and listen, try to let God remind you of the ways he showed love to you that day. And why not express your love for God in some way? It doesn't have to necessarily be by reading the Bible extra long or spending hours in prayer- sure God would like that but it has to come from your heart. So if expressing your love to God means baking cupcakes than do it, bake for God- and enjoy! Or take a walk outside with Jesus and just talk to him as you go. Just express your love for God in whatever way that holds special meaning for you.
Why not phone up your mom or go visit family? Spend a day with those you love, just giving your time. If your friends are free, go have a girl's afternoon out or something, and have some quality girl time!
*Dating/Engaged Couples*
With your significant other beside you, write down a list of what you see in your future together and compare them. Make it at least 20 items long- be imaginative. Trust me, it's fun. You could also write down a love list, write 20 things that you absolutely love about each other. And then read them to each other, that will certainly spark lots of lovey feelings and plus, it's always wonderful to hear good things about yourself. Spend the entire day together if you can, go for a walk, go skating, out to dinner or better yet, make dinner together as a couple, watch a romantic comedy. Have fun. Surprise each other with some special little gift that would mean something- and it doesn't have to be bought, you could make something (like his favourite cookies). And then end the fantastic evening by letting your boyfriend walk you to your front door and kiss you goodnight. After a day like that, you'll be sure to have a pleasant thoughts as you fall asleep.
*Married Couples*
You could do all the same things as the dating couples really, love lists never get boring! But because marriage comes with it's own set of stresses and busyness, you may have to put extra effort forth to get some alone time together. But definately get that alone time, even if it's only once the kids are asleep and the house is a mess- whatever, leave it. Light some candles, give massages, just enjoy each other's company and don't rush anything. Spend time connecting, getting to know what the other has been thinking about, dreaming about. Eat something sweet, laugh and tickle each other. Take a bath together with lots of bubbles. Give a gift- such as you could wear something extra sexy or give him a foot rub for a change, whatever has meaning for you. Is love making in the plan? Well, that's up to the both of you. Sometimes a romantic evening is complete without it because the two of you have a greater need to connect on a more emotional level and at other times...well, turn out the lights and just enjoy each other, taking your time, taking all night if that's what you like. Have fun!!
I hope that you all can figure out wonderful things to do this Sunday. It's a shame that Valentine's day becomes degraded sometimes to just be about easy sex or getting the key to your boyfriends apartment. Don't let yourself be effected by that but keep your eyes on "... what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise," (Philippians 4:8, NIV). And act likewise.
Whatever you chose to do on Valentine's day, I urge you to keep it pure and remember God is sending lots of love out to you too!
Friday, February 12, 2010
Use What Your Mother Gave You??
Hey Girls,
Ever heard a story about a girl who was getting pulled over by the cops for speeding and decided to undo the top two buttons of her shirt, or act extra flirty? Often girls try to use their physical attributes to get them out of situations or sometimes to get them into situations. Is this right or wrong? Should we use our physical bodies to benefit us? What about modesty? How far should we go? Showing some cleavage to wearing a skirt that we can't bend over in to throwing off your shirt in the thrill of the moment. What about with our boyfriends, is it okay to change in front of them?
It's so hard to sometimes know what is okay for a Christian girl and what isn't. Some people totally ban makeup, earings, and practically anything showing skin. Do we really need to dress like an 80 year old woman to please God? And then there are other Christians who believe totally opposite and think it's okay for girls to show off a little skin, put on makeup, flaunt and flirt, wear short skirts. Does that please God? Is this the kind of topic where everybody has to decide for themselves?
I think the most important reason to look at first is why we are dressing or acting a certain way. Is it to gain approval from others (often guys)? Than if so, it's wrong. First of all, because we know our approval comes from God. God is the one who makes us feel beautiful, who validates us from the inside out. Okay, so what if our intentions just have to do with liking a certain style? Dressing that we because we know our significant other likes it too?
Romans 12:1-2 says, "...I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice- the kind he will find acceptable. Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think..." Okay, so that establishes that there should be a visible difference between us and the world. 1 Peter 3:3-4 says "Don't be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God." And we shouldn't place a lot of emphasis on our physical appearance but work on our character more. "...Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honourable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise," Philippians 4:8. So shouldn't our appearance reflect our inner thoughts? I believe so.
Lastly, our appearance shouldn't cause anyone else to sin and I believe this is one of the most important aspects. Luke 17:1 says it very clearly: "One day Jesus said to his disciples, 'There will always be temptations to sin, but what sorrow awaits the person who does the tempting'." Yikes! Girls, we have a huge responsibility. We can provoke guys to sin so easily in how we dress, for the Bible says that thinking about sin in your mind counts as actually doing it (you just don't involve others in the consquences of your sin). After all, sinful thoughts disobey what God calls us to think about as mentioned above.
There is no way I agree that we should dress plain and ugly. After all, there is lots of mention in the Bible of beautiful women wearing fancy purple cloth (look at the amount of beauty stuff in the book of Esther). But our looks and actions should not cause others to sin. We should not tempt! So ya, don't change in front of your boyfriend because you're just causing him to feel temptation to go where he shouldn't yet. And don't strut around in low cut and showy clothes because you're tempting the guys who look at you. Attracting a guy does not mean trying to suduce one!
So go ahead and wear clothing that you like, that compliment your figure. There is nothing wrong with looking beautiful. Let those wholesome thoughts we're to be thinking be demonstrated on the outside by looking lovely and admirable and honourable. And then act likewise, for many times the effect our appearance has is driven by our actions. Doing this will bring you respect and trust from others.
And with Valentine's Day so close, this is probably pretty relevant for those of you who will dress up a little. Be beautiful and lovely, but watch the 'sexy' aspect. Your boyfriend/fiance does not need to see more skin because it's a special day (that doesn't help him, honestly, it really just hurts him in the end). Course, if you're married, rules change- go wild girl if that's what you want! but ah, topic for another time... So instead, don't think of modesty as another word for ugly but look lovely and dress with purity. You will find that compliments you recieve will mean so much more and your character will grow, producing so many other blessings as a result.
Ever heard a story about a girl who was getting pulled over by the cops for speeding and decided to undo the top two buttons of her shirt, or act extra flirty? Often girls try to use their physical attributes to get them out of situations or sometimes to get them into situations. Is this right or wrong? Should we use our physical bodies to benefit us? What about modesty? How far should we go? Showing some cleavage to wearing a skirt that we can't bend over in to throwing off your shirt in the thrill of the moment. What about with our boyfriends, is it okay to change in front of them?
It's so hard to sometimes know what is okay for a Christian girl and what isn't. Some people totally ban makeup, earings, and practically anything showing skin. Do we really need to dress like an 80 year old woman to please God? And then there are other Christians who believe totally opposite and think it's okay for girls to show off a little skin, put on makeup, flaunt and flirt, wear short skirts. Does that please God? Is this the kind of topic where everybody has to decide for themselves?
I think the most important reason to look at first is why we are dressing or acting a certain way. Is it to gain approval from others (often guys)? Than if so, it's wrong. First of all, because we know our approval comes from God. God is the one who makes us feel beautiful, who validates us from the inside out. Okay, so what if our intentions just have to do with liking a certain style? Dressing that we because we know our significant other likes it too?
Romans 12:1-2 says, "...I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice- the kind he will find acceptable. Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think..." Okay, so that establishes that there should be a visible difference between us and the world. 1 Peter 3:3-4 says "Don't be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God." And we shouldn't place a lot of emphasis on our physical appearance but work on our character more. "...Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honourable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise," Philippians 4:8. So shouldn't our appearance reflect our inner thoughts? I believe so.
Lastly, our appearance shouldn't cause anyone else to sin and I believe this is one of the most important aspects. Luke 17:1 says it very clearly: "One day Jesus said to his disciples, 'There will always be temptations to sin, but what sorrow awaits the person who does the tempting'." Yikes! Girls, we have a huge responsibility. We can provoke guys to sin so easily in how we dress, for the Bible says that thinking about sin in your mind counts as actually doing it (you just don't involve others in the consquences of your sin). After all, sinful thoughts disobey what God calls us to think about as mentioned above.
There is no way I agree that we should dress plain and ugly. After all, there is lots of mention in the Bible of beautiful women wearing fancy purple cloth (look at the amount of beauty stuff in the book of Esther). But our looks and actions should not cause others to sin. We should not tempt! So ya, don't change in front of your boyfriend because you're just causing him to feel temptation to go where he shouldn't yet. And don't strut around in low cut and showy clothes because you're tempting the guys who look at you. Attracting a guy does not mean trying to suduce one!
So go ahead and wear clothing that you like, that compliment your figure. There is nothing wrong with looking beautiful. Let those wholesome thoughts we're to be thinking be demonstrated on the outside by looking lovely and admirable and honourable. And then act likewise, for many times the effect our appearance has is driven by our actions. Doing this will bring you respect and trust from others.
And with Valentine's Day so close, this is probably pretty relevant for those of you who will dress up a little. Be beautiful and lovely, but watch the 'sexy' aspect. Your boyfriend/fiance does not need to see more skin because it's a special day (that doesn't help him, honestly, it really just hurts him in the end). Course, if you're married, rules change- go wild girl if that's what you want! but ah, topic for another time... So instead, don't think of modesty as another word for ugly but look lovely and dress with purity. You will find that compliments you recieve will mean so much more and your character will grow, producing so many other blessings as a result.
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