A Fling or the Real Thing?

Hi Everyone,

Ever had a friend, or maybe this is you, who enjoys frequent dating, seems to have a different boyfriend or love interest every month? I've often wondered why they do that. Why just move from one person to the next over and over again, like sampling a buffet table?

For me, dating is a means to an end- marriage. When a girl meets a guy and is interested in him, she wants to get to know him better- well, awesome! But then the trouble starts, why pursue dating him? Dating implies a greater level of intimacy that's out of the realm of friendship. This means that the moment the girl is interested in the guy, she's thinking of the future, of being intiment. So when she's thinking about kissing, hugging, holding hands, being close- is there any thought that this guy could be the one? Otherwise she's just sharing herself around with various guys with no end game in mind, sampling the produce. That doesn't sound like something Father God would want his daughter doing.

You do not need to date a lot of guys in order to find the one that's right for you! People seem to be under the immpression that's it's really important to date a few guys before getting married- that's such a lie, the biggest misconception. I was told that by people before I met my husband (not that I listened to them). I was never closed to dating someone as long as he was the right one for me, as long as I felt it was okay from God. And God will tell you! I knew if a guy were to ask me out, exactly what I should tell them- until my husband, it was 'no' and ya, that's usually not a lot of fun but it's worth it in the end.

Let me tell you this right now- you do not need any experience of any sort! What girl wants to be in a relationship with a guy who's had tons of experience? Not only does it make her feel self-conscious but it makes him think he knows it all, and it brings tons of bagage into the relationship. Past relationships are not forgotten, they do not just 'go away' when you meet the one. Rather, if two people who have a past get together, it's important they work through everything with God and each other, seeking forgiveness and release from their pasts- otherwise they will not be able to be totally free with each other in the future.

Look at the divorce rate now- and God detests divorce! In the Bible it is referred to as adultry in all situations except for marital unfaithfulness. I believe God can save every single marriage no matter what happens if the husband and wife turn wholeheartedly to God. Divorce is what people do who have multiple flings and relationships (without being married)- breakups are practise for divorce later. People get addicted to the desire for that spark again, a new experience, fun of a new crush- don't think those feelings just disapear when you get married. Devotion to God, loyalty to each other, keeps the spark in the marriage- not the 'feelings' of the couple. Who wants to be divorced when their older? Keep serial dating and the odds are you probably will.

Going on 'dates' with different guys, is not necessarily a bad thing unless it leads to intimacy later. Having dinner, seeing a movie, getting to know a guy- it's not wrong. What you do afterwards though can be (unless good friends is what you become). I have friends who've been in previous relationships, just a few, and turned out to fall in love and get married- God led them out of the wrong relationships and to the right one. But then I have friends whose relationships led them to the wrong guys and away from God.  So what did I learn from my friends? That past relationships have no relevance to the future because God brings the right guy around in the right time- those relationships just create bagage.

I guess what I'm saying is that dating relationships are not necessary. Let God be your close friend, Jesus your 'spiritual boyfriend' until He brings the perfect guy to you. Why not just hang on and wait for the real thing? It will be worth it. God will speak into your heart if you are listening to him and not your feelings of being 'in love' so to say. Trust me, trust God- waiting is worth it. In the end after all, we're answering to God for our actions.

Be faithful girls!